When Progress Is the New Goal
Things I am learning from healing trauma
I have always been good at accomplishing things I set out to do. I have a tenacity to get after my goals, once they’re set, and do my best job at achieving them.
So when I came to a realization that I have some terrible baggage from my childhood, I set out to address that and in so doing relieve some of my lifelong anxiety and depression.
I learned that I would need to deal with my patterns of hypervigilance, lacking boundaries, and people-pleasing. In doing so I would need to make some hard choices, make some big changes, and begin the slow and tedious work of rebuilding parts of myself from the inside out.
Of course it would not be simple but I can do hard. I was finally simply dying from all the anxiety and depression that I had been carrying for my entire life. But what to do?
Books? Read! Therapy? Of course. Medication? Check. Boundaries? Made some of the hardest ones imaginable. Self care? Yoga, nutrition, walking, you name it. But still my symptoms persist.
Actually, I am a little bit better. And the way I can tell is that I am now fully aware of what being anxious feels like. It is no longer just a state I constantly live in. Depression? I now have days where I am more depressed and many…
